I'm over the hump!!!
Ha ha! Just kidding.... 30 is still far from any hump (insert obvious sexual comment here). I had a FABULOUS week. 30 is proving to kick 29's ass, as it turns out. The week was complete with massages, sushi, birthday breakfasts, flowers, obnoxiously bright festive decorations, a few too many vodka tonics, a stunning homemade cake, friends, hugs, and the obligatory drag queens.
So tonight, I'm sitting on my front porch in Chattanooga, Tennessee. The heat, for the first time in almost three months, has let up. It is a perfect temperature.
I tried to write a post about an hour ago. But it was just so damn happy and boring, so I erased it. And one of the cool quirks with Blogger is that you can look at other blogs you have written. So I started to read my blog from 2 years ago, openfire. It is absolutely hilarious! Ok, so the last post was very, very sad. I was very, very sad. A large part of this year was spent licking the wounds from that time. I spent the rest of 2009 lost, I can say. I also had some amazing things happen to me . I met my most amazing boyfriend Tim last December. Poor Tim had to deal with a lot of the scars on my heart from last summer. And wait it out with me. And put up with my knee-jerk reactions. But people come into your life right when you need them. And the ones you don't need find their way out.
Ok, but I'm not ALL sadness! Some of the posts are a total roar, if I don't say so myself. There is a post entitled pack rat that was written about my sister and her hoard of bizarre hobbies that I almost pissed myself reading. Or when I went to New York and heard Enya playing at a Burger King in the Bronx. I'm not ALWAYS writing about Zen and keeping it all together and letting the moment be with you. Sometimes I just want to laugh my ass off. Sometimes artists get SO caught up in their survival and what it all means and all the hustle that is required, they forget to take a freakin piss at the world.
Tim and I had this conversation recently. He has a man-crush on some photographer that doesn't post anything about himself, just his work. On FaceBook. Freakin' FaceBook. The guy doesn't put photos of himself, or any info. That's fine... I get that part. The only info he DOES put, however, is that one day he is going to be famous.
Don't get me wrong, the guy is very talented.
But what a D-Bag.
Tim, having seen this, became self-conscious about how much personal info he has on the internet. He likes to write on FB about what people are doing, what he likes, photos of those around him. His website has info about him, his background, etc...In short, he is connected. He opens himself up for targets and also for friends.
He was self-conscious about not having enough mystery, and therefore, not doing a proper job in selling his goods.
I truly think, in my heart, that mystery is overrated. It is obvious, it is everyday. Move on. We can't know. That is so, so obvious. But to use this fact as a sales tactic, is, in my opinion a waste of time, in the long-run.
Ok, not everyone should know when you go to the bathroom and wipe you ass. There is a grey zone here. But to purposely HIDE yourself is something totally different. There are repercussions. No one ever knows you. No one can see you vulnerable. No one can know you are HUMAN.
I know some artists (including myself at different times) who only put out information that sells them. No funny business. Make a buzz, sort of speak. And, supposedly, their artwork is enough for you to know about them.
Ok, let's set things straight. I think artwork should speak for itself. It doesn't matter who the artist is if it sucks.
But, BUT, do the REAL great artists conceal everything?? In my mind Thom Yorke and Bjork are two VERY great artists. I know exactly why Thom Yorke has a wonky eye. I know he laughs like a dork. I know he is a classically trained musician. I know Bjork was a slightly bored teenager who took long trip into the wilderness. I know she is a total nut and hard to listen to in interviews.
And I love both of them even more for this. I love that they talk about their work. I love that it makes the work more accessible. I love that I can enjoy their music even more. I am officially obsessed with both.
And one of the most redeeming qualities about all the hoop-la surrounding artist Richard Schmid is that he put info about himself in his book, Alla Prima. It is not a dry, sterile book on painting. It is full of laughter and wittiness. It is a little piece of him.
What do you think??
I don't have anything figured out in this business. I suck at it, frankly. But I know, in my gut, that hiding myself isn't a smart move. I'm smart and fairly together... why wouldn't that help me sell my work? I don't think my personality will take away from my art. Hopefully, someday, my work will be thousands of miles away from me. And I can laugh my head off as best as I want to with my friends and it won't make me a less professional artist.
But what do I know.
For now, I'm happy to laugh, enjoy my friends and family, and try not to get too serious about myself. It's not always easy.